My Pimple Problem

Dear  Ron,

I have a pimple on my right bottom- cheek that I have been worrying about for a long time. I keep pinching it, and because of that,it is not going away. My problem is that I want it to go away and I don’t. I want it to go away because it would make my cheek look nice and unblemished, but I don’t want it to go away because then I wouldn’t have anything to pinch, and I love to pinch it. I am on the horns of a dilemma.


Dear Horns,

Your conflict is classical-two mutually exclusive outcomes. How often these predicaments come up  in life! Horns. You can’t have it both ways. Sorry. Will it be the unblemished bottom, which you obviously covet, or the pimple which you prize because of its pinchability? Choose. I can only say which one I would go for: the pimple, of course! But that is because my ass is not unlike a prune on the cusp of marination.


One Comment Add yours

  1. abigailengel says:

    Choosing the pimple always give you a topic to carry a conversation that is going no where fast. Pictures would improve your chances of being remembered long after the conversation. Please start with: “I have this picture…?”

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