Your Letter Has Made Me Sleepy

Dear Ron,
I was happy to read the the advice you gave to Light Hungry. I also have a problem about the autumn season , which maybe you will be good enough to shed some light on.
Every year when autumn drives up to my door I get,…well, kinda sad and lazy. The cold wind blows, the leaves fall forlornly onto my driveway and  Halloween is over. It is too early to go Christmas shopping because the carols have not begun at the mall yet , and I don’t know what to do with myself.
So I lie in bed all day thinking about my misfortune and trying to count the hairs on my wrist, and when I lose number I get upset. What  can I do to get rid of my autumnal doldrums?
Blue Wendy

Dear Blue Wendy,

Your letter has made me sleepy, and after I answer it I am going for a plop on the mattress.  I might even take my anti-depressant early today.
As you see, you are not the only one with the late autumn blues.  What to do about it? I have gone and done some research on the subject, and am now back at my desk ready to  push out a hunk of sage counsel.
Dr. Steadman Soily, the “seasonal psychiatrist”, so named because he sees patients only in the off-season,  suggests that one take an alternative view of problems.  To quote from his hefty tome, Seasons and Saunas, “Patients need to trick themselves out of their moods.  If something is making you feel unpleasant, pretend that it doesn’t exist.
Or turn it into something which will make you feel good. For example, if you don’t like carrots, and your mother is mean enough to force them on you, pretend they are something else, like candy or cheesies. That way you will avoid mom’s tongue lashing and have a tasty dinner at the same time.”
Wendy, why not apply this technique to your own dislike of autumn? Pretend it is springtime instead and go right out there and begin buying plants and a salty new bikini. Start shaving your legs more often in anticipation of the fine summer weather. This should get your furnace stoked enough to get you off your bed and into the mall early.
You could even buy yourself a tube of Bain de Soleil and slather yourself up before you go out. Dr Soily is a keen advocate of making these “mind leaps” as convincing as possible.  The smell of the grease on your skin will make you think you are heading for the beach and a game of dunk. Then walk with your face pointing up at the sky so that it seems you are already on the beach, soaking in the rays.
Avoid looking at the leaves, avoid looking at other people, and never let anyone tell you you are not where you should be. Good luck and have a great summer.


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