I live In Syrup

Dear Ron,

It’s a grey day outside today and I feel like I am wading through syrup. Is it me or the day?

Larry Dreary

Dear Larry Dreary,

I have to say that it is probably you. My mother once told me that we can’t blame everything on the weather.

For instance, if it is raining and you get wet, well, you can say it was those raindrops that did it. Similarly, if it is sunny and you get a sunburn, that is the weather that accomplished it. But if you are wading through syrup, you can hardly say that it is the weather’s fault.

I do not want to put words in your mouth, but I am supposing that you are not enjoying your wade through the syrup, and you want Ron to advise you how to get out of it. You are just going to have to make an effort to lift yourself out of it I am afraid. That is the only way this will be accomplished. Use willpower. You have it. If you don’t think you can muster the energy, take a lick of the syrup – it contains sugar, a source of energy in the short term. Just a lick, mind you, we don’t want you to get the sugar blues. Okay, Larry, ONE TWO THREE GO.

Are you out? I hope you are.

Dear Ron,

I am not out. Well, to clarify, my arms are out, but my legs are still stuck. I won’t lick the syrup because it is not my favourite sort and besides I don’t want tooth decay. I must report that I am feeling a little more comfortable in the syrup now. I have gotten used to wading and I don’t think I want to get out and walk. Am I now running the risk of not being able to get out at all? I am concerned.

Larry Dreary

Dear Larry,

You will get out eventually, and so if you are having a little fun in the syrup now, I wouldn’t worry too much about it. Beware, however, that it does not become a habit. If you go syrup wading too often you might forget how to walk properly and you don’t want to have to start to learn to walk all over again at your age. It could prove embarrassing.

Another thing to think about is that you don’t want to appear to be totally unproductive to others. If someone asks you how you spent your day and you reply that you spent most of it in a bowl of syrup, it is not going to make a good impression on them. You will be frowned upon. You may even be excluded from invitations to the better parties. Nobody has much to say to a person who spends their time in syrup, I’m afraid. There is the greater risk that If this gets around, you may even end up jobless and isolated if you aren’t that already.

I hope this helped.

Dear Ron,

It did help. I pulled myself out of the syrup by the sheer power of positive thinking and I walked. I even took a drive to buy my meal replacement bars. So thank you. I am going to make it a point to avoid the syrup bowl from here on in because I don’t want to risk not being invited to the better parties, not that I have been invited to any even average parties in the past twenty years. But you never can tell. I think 10 is going to be a lucky year for me.

Larry Dreary

Dear Larry,

I am glad to hear you have managed your problem.

Happy 10!


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