Blind Buffoon

Dear Ron,

I am having a problem with eye-brain co-ordination. In other words I do not see what is right in front of my eyes. My eyesight is generally good. I can read a menu that might have been written for ants. So please don’t tell me to waste my hard-earned social security check on a pair of goggles. But I can be looking for something, say a metal detector, and while the item is right there in front of me, I see everything but said object. It makes me feel foolish. I am wondering if I have indeed become unhinged.

Blind Buffoon

Dear Blind,

I am hoping you will be able to read my answer to your question, or whether you will go right past it to the scratchy tabletop. I am assuming that if you cannot see what I have written, you will call the proper authorities to get assistance.

Eye-brain co-ordination, you say. If your eyes are functioning properly, I can only assume that it is your brain’s fault. Have you had that checked recently? That’s where I would go. Perhaps it is just a matter of getting the screws in more tightly. An overhaul of the mechanism. There are people who do that kind of work. They screw you for a price.

I would look one up and explain your situation. In the meantime,  you might keep in mind that all phenomena are merely illusory, chimera that we take to be real. If someone asks you to pass the ketchup, for instance, and your brain does not inform your eyes of its whereabouts, tell the person that they are merely living an unenlightened existence. Chances are they won’t ask you for anything thereafter.

I hope this helped.


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