I Shall Gas You

Dear Ron,
I hope you are enjoying your summer. Isn’t it nice when there is no snow on the ground and it is not so cold we have to wear a coat? I have a question for you. What is your favourite season? I bet it’s summer. Please tell me if I am right.
Lady Bug

Dear Lady Bug,

All seasons have their charms. Winter with it’s sparkling snow and bracing winds. In the winter I feel like just breathing .  Usually  in front of a radiator.
Autumn, of course is spectacular. All the brightly coloured leaves . There is nothing more satisfying than the scent of burning leaves and their crackling underfoot as you walk, but you always have to remember to be wearing shoes.
Then who can overlook the springtime, with its burgeoning signs of rebirth? In the spring there is nothing I enjoy more than collecting dog droppings and filing them in little jars, and then distributing them to the children in the neighbourhood.
Well, last but certainly not least, in my estimation, is the summer. Lady Bug, is it summer I love the best? Cliff hanger! You win your bet! It is my favourite. What is outstanding about the summertime for this columnist is the weather.  Summer afternoons always make my heart skip a little faster and cause my loins to tingle naughtily. But stay away all you nasty insects! If I catch you on my arm, I shall gas you.
Lady bug, thank you for your question, and you too enjoy the rest of the summer .

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