The Chosen People

Dear Ron,
Why is is that certain sensations feel pleasant even though they hurt? For instance, I love to stick sharp objects into my finger until it starts to bleed. It hurts and makes me feel good. What gives?
Happy sufferer

Dear Happy,

You are what is known in the psychiatric literature as a masochrist (something like that, I forget how to spell it), which is someone who takes pleasure in pain. There are lots of your type around, don’t worry about it, and many of these people end up  having very happy lives by bumping into things, falling down, pretending to be pin cushions, impersonating punching bags and getting married.
They are to be found in all walks of life, and many of them, in fact, believe that they are sidewalks. Freud considered masochrists to be the Chosen People, because they end up enjoying their lives more than any other kind of person.  Think about it. It is so easy to get someone to give you a good punch in the gut or knee in the groin, and though not all masochrists like this type of pain, it can be considered an acquired taste.
There is the famous case , for example, of  Igor Moist, who just loved to think of himself as a cake and have people at a party cut him up and chew him out him with a cold glass of milk. He would always ice himself up for the occasion. Of course, he was a favourite guest at birthday parties. Funnily enough, his body parts always grew back and he would be invited to another one.
There was also Emma Scent, who liked to get into a fly costume and flit around the garden, with friends and family in hot pursuit waving flag-sized swatters. One person I knew personally, a masochrist, of distinction, used to get his jollies locking himself  in a room and forcing himself to listen to Bon Jovi  records until blood poured out of his ears.
There are those people who  imagine punishing themselves by being Oprah’s best friend.  Others  think it would be nice to be treated like a hockey puck during the NHL season. As you see, there is no limit to the ways people enjoy being hurt, so take heart, Happy, and party on happily.

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