I Have Always Been Proud Of My Neck

Dear Ron,
I am in a quandary.  In my middle years, I have noticed when looking into my bathroom mirror of late that my jowl has loosened  considerably. I have always been a man who is proud of his neck, so you can perhaps understand that it is disturbing to see this happen. I do not know if I should have this tended to cosmetically, as the prospect brings back touchy issues that I do not feel prepared to face at this time. My greatest fear, however, is that I will begin to resemble the late John Diefenbaker, a Conservative ex-Prime Minister of Canada  if I do not do something about it. Any pointers?
Embattled Ben

Dear Embattled Ben,

It seems to me that you have your work cut out for you. You are a vain man, who is fearful of cosmetic surgery, and who wishes to avoid resembling the distinguished John F. Diefenbaker.
Let me see. You might try neck exercises.  Stand in front of a mirror. Stiffen jaw, which will tighten up the wattles. Relax. Stiffen. Relax. Stiffen. Continue on till your jaws ache slightly. Do this five times a day for three months. If at the end of this period, there are no results, I would consider either going under the knife, or resigning yourself to your fate of turning into a John Diefenbaker look-a-like.


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