A Sadist’s Dilemma

Dear Ron,

I  have just come to the conclusion that I am a sadist. I enjoy making people suffer, the more the merrier. It is the one thing I look forward to when I wake up in the morning. Who can I make miserable today and how can I do it? It makes my bells ring. My question to you is that I have to make some life decisions, like a career, and I think my only talent is inflicting pain. How can I make it work for me?

Sadie

Dear Sadie,

What a dilemma! And I only have to decide if I want apple or orange juice with breakfast.

You are a sadist, eh? There are actually thousands of jobs you could be doing, but which ones would be the best, causing the worst pain while leaving you clear and free from consequences? If you think you would enjoy torturing children, a teacher would be my choice. You could bore the kiddies to death, slowly, day by day, week after week, term after term, watching their promising young faces grimace in despair. Think of all the shades of agony you could be witness to each and every day.

If you would prefer to target women,  why not think about becoming a receptionist , making late-comers re-schedule their appointments. Or a hair-dresser where you could  humiliate new hair-do’s.  If you want hands-on experience,  acupuncturist is a sure bet. Nursing allows opportunities to knock around people to your heart’s content, especially the elderly, and there is a growing need in this profession. Have you ever thought about insurance sales, taking clients through options, term by term, at your own punishing leisure?

If you would enjoy flagellating male egos, get a job at a golf club and belitttle the members’ balls. If you prefer to live in the country, get a position on a communal farm organisation and don’t let any farmer plant their seeds without your permission. Take a job at a firing range and measure their guns, smirking as you do.   If blood-sport is your thing, dentistry is the way to go. Of course, no anaesthetic is the style to employ.  If you want someone to suffer for you every day, just get married. Good luck! Let me know how it goes.

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